When I was your age...

I hope that I get to grow up to be one of the greatest old men ever. I would pass down wisdom like nobody's business. Only I would be so senile and crazy that all of my teachings would be incoherent. And I would be talking nonsense in three different languages: English, Chinese, and Spanish, with random gibberish sprinkled here and there. Also, whenever I would have the opportunity, I would always talk with my mouth full. Get some disgusting blobs of food everywhere, with some spit. And I would always creep or annoy people younger than me. Like with little children, I would be all nice and keep talking to them about how the world was when I was their age. And I would threaten them to pay my retirement funds. I would keep yelling at teenagers, to "turn down their music", even when they didn't have it on. I would also yell at them about their physical appearances, clothes, and manner of speaking. And for adults would be younger than me, I would always offer them the most useless and disgusting things, like my pre-chewed food or a random stick I found. I would also give them financial advice that makes no sense what-so-ever. And for old people, we would keep shouting at each other, then laugh and go play cyber bingo. I would also make sure to not get sent to some insane asylum, so I could keep going to the supermarket's return or refund lane to talk to random people. Yup, I would be one of the best crazy, senile old men ever. Hopefully.