Aliens

What if aliens communicated through smell? Like if they had different smell glands that they could switch through, to make different sequences of smells. And they'd have a nose like a dog, only more powerful and sensitive. Then how would we communicate with them? What if we accidentally told them "You guys suck" because of our smells? And then we would be screwed if they had giant doomsday weapons capable of destroying a small planet like earth a million times over. Just what if.

~C.

Reverse Cretinization

The process of "Reverse Cretinization" is astounding. This process is based on the notion that "every stupid person has the potential to become incredibly smart", though that is a bit simplified.
The process begins when the cranium of the subject, who should have a cretinization level above that of the average person (much higher), is struck swiftly, briefly, and with great force. This impact causes a momentary surge of electricity on the surface of the previously dormant brain and forces blood to rush to the area of impact to heal and consolidate any damage, taking with it precious oxygen in order to begin the process of aerobic respiration in the brain cells and causing the brain cells to become more active. The previous dormancy causes the brain to rapidly suck in all the information around it using the five senses, trying to quickly develop in the face of threat (which is the object that caused the recoil). Thus, the subject soaks in all the information around him and gains photographic memory, if for a short while. The information is then logically broken down and analyzed by the subject's brain and stored in the memory banks, (some pre-existing memories and knowledge are already there, but were not analyzed or understood, these are also used), and using this information the subject comes upon amazing discoveries that were already made by previous persons, and is able to master complex theories and aspects of the world around the subject. Thus when regaining composure from the said impact, the subject regurgitates knowledge and information as a side effect to the "rapid learning", and gains more awareness.
The final step in this process of "reverse cretinization" is the revertation of of the subject's IQ level. The subject's brain, after being "awakened", is very unstable, and thus if the subject's cranium takes another blow, the information and knowledge gained through self-discovery is lost and destroyed in the memory storage, and the subject reverts back to a cretin. On the other hand, if there was no additional blow to the cranium and the information and IQ levels of the subject's brain were able to stabilize, who knows what could happen? As of yet, there has been no record of stabilization, for soccer balls usually realize that their actions have created a sin of nature after the impact to the cranium, and seek to correct it.

~C.

Reality Check

An escape. We all have one. If you don't, you're probably very, very, very depressed. Because it's the truth, and there's no shame in it: Life is depressing. Reality is depressing. Something slightly disturbing: It is almost impossible to deal with reality unless you can take a vacation from it; The only way to deal with life is to have healthy intervals of not dealing with it.

This is something apparently obvious, a duhbrian,we'renothatstupid moment, but it's a slightly strange, alien concept. We like to think of ourselves as enduring, and yet, we can't even endure the pressure of being. We're like... a volatile, moody video gamer. If you're not doing well in one game, turn it off, take out the cartridge, and switch to another for a short while.

If you are still confused, here are some examples of escapes.

Playing an instrument can make you feel better, because you are, at the time, concentrated in making music and you are not (should not be) thinking about your grades, or what your future job salary will be, and whether or not you will make enough to support your wife and three kids. You should be letting the music take you in, and moving with the music, right? It's an escape. A momentary escape from reality in which you can temporarily allow yourself to get high in your own way. And if you're not getting high the way you want; that's fine. Take out the cartridge, and switch to another game.

Other escapes include:

• Video games.
• Art and poetry (these two are slightly debatable because they both have the potential to become equally depressing and uplifting)
• Sports.
• Writing blog posts instead of doing homework at 11 PM (guess what I'm supposed to be doing)
• Even drugs and alcohol (which we here at Blargitty Blarghed do NOT recommend because they are both more expensive and health-damaging habits, even if they may produce a higher-quality high.)

So next time you are feeling overly stressed or partially insane:

Realize what you must dotofulfillyourdestiny,luke

And accept it as what must be done.

Escape with any means possible.

One shell, Two shell, Red shell, Blue shell.

Found this picture online, at Rock, Paper, Cynic, a webcomic. I just thought of posting it up here, well, in dedication to Mario Kart, which will forever serve as an excuse to write up random nonsense and call it philosophy.

Sacrifice: The Risk

In order to gain, you must lose. It can be of equal amount, or not. If the latter, than the difference must be made up with the intangible, such as risk.
Some say that to gain something you desire you must also lose something of equal value to obtain it, such as when you are buying an apple with money. But what of those "bargain prices"? Where the price is less than the value of the apple, then will that rule still apply? Actually, yes, because the company will benefit from this transaction because it will attract more customers, but it does not necessarily mean that it will attract more buyers, there is a risk. So in place of the difference in prices, there needs to be a risk involved in order to balance it out. This rule, the risk rule, states that if the value of gain and the value of loss is unbalanced, risk/luck will become involved in the equation, either leading to greater loss or greater gain, and the amount of loss or gain is dependent on how much risk is involved, like in gambling.
Other factors, such as the loss from another person or time, are included in this relationship of loss and gain, but those will be discussed later.

~C.

Painful coincidences and other outside forces

There are only two outside forces that interfere with the law of possessions.

They are known as.

Painful coincidences and Luck.

Luck is technically a sub-branch of painful coincidences.

What you call "karma" is inexistence.

There is no karma.

Most bad people will get away with bad things.

However, some of them suffer very unfortunately, from...

Painful coincidences.

Murphy's third law would be of Painful Coincidences.

That when everything is going right

everything is reaching the peak of perfection

only then will everything come crashing down.

In a manner that is so unpredictable, if you are waiting for it to happen, it won't.

Not until you let your guard down.

(note:ilikepressingtheenterkeytoemphasizepoints)

an excerpt from Life, the Universe, and Everything by Douglas Adams.

"Many speak of the legendary and gigantic starship Titanic, a majestic and luxurious cruise liner launched from the great shipbuilding asteroid complexes of Artrifactovol some hundred years ago now, and with good reason.

It was sensationally beautiful, staggeringly huge and more pleasantly equipped than any ship in what remains of history, but it had the misfortune to be built in the earliest days of Improbability Physics, long before this difficult and cursed branch of knowledge was fully, or at all, understood.

The designers and engineers decided, in their innocence, to build a prototype Improbability Field into it, which was meant, supposedly, to ensure that it was Infinitely Improbable that anything would ever go wrong with any part of the ship.

They did not realize that because of the quasi-reciprocal and circular nature of all Improbability calculations, anything that was Infinitely Improbable was actually very likely to happen almost immediately.

The starship Titanic was a monstrously pretty sight as it lay beached like a silver Arctuan Megavoidwhale among the laserlit tracery of its construction gantries, a brilliant cloud of pins and needles of light against the deep interstellar blackness; but when launched, it did not even manage to complete its very first radio message--an SOS--before undergoing a sudden and gratuitous total existence failure."

The law of Painful Coincidences states that improbability of an event occurring is inverse to the probability that it happens immediately.

This law slightly coincides with Murphy's first law.

~BKH

Wish.

Three wishes. No more and no less, says the genie. One wish is far too dangerous; what if the wish was wrong? Two wishes is better, for the second can negate the first. But with three wishes, the lesson is learned, and the wish is for better. Four wishes is one too many, for then the power shall utterly corrupt. Five will destroy, never go beyond that.
What would you do with three wishes? For good or for evil? For self or for all? Gain or lose? With power there are rules, and along with those rules there are consequences. The trick is knowing exactly what the rules are, so the consequences don't turn against you.
So, what would you wish for?

~C.